At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
