By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
