I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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