I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
