I won't be sarcastic... just naked
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
