Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
