He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
