VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
