Pants 0. Shit 1.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
third nipple confirmed
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
