Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
