i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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