I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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