One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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