And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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