Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
