My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
