You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
