walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
