That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
My bed smells like the plague
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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