the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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