You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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