Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
