they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
