that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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