Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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