By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
it hurts more in the daytime
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
