Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
