Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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