it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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