I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
