i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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