Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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