i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
she told me i tasted like america
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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