Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
