Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
