Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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