There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
