ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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