She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
