if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
