After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
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