question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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