i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
