JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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