But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
