You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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