Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Randomize
