i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
