This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
