I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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