he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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