They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
