I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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